Are You Behind, or Is Everyone Lying?

Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind in life? Not a total failure. Just… not quite where you’re supposed to be.

Let’s take inventory, shall we?

• Do you own a house yet?

• Secured a thriving career?

• Married? In a stable relationship?

• Kids on the horizon?

• Travelling the world?

• Living life “to the full”, whatever that actually means?

• Big friendship circle?

• Or perhaps a small, elite power group who brunch regularly and have strong opinions about wine?

Master’s degree? Marathon? Savings account?

(Insert your own. There’s plenty to choose from.)

First of all, I’m exhausted just listing all that. And second, the list is not even compatible.

If you’re an introvert, the “big social life” part sounds like a slow death. If you’re chasing a big career, chances are you live in a city where buying a home requires selling an organ.

The timelines don’t line up. The maths doesn’t add up. And increasingly, it all feels like a bit of a cosmic prank.

Unless, of course, you’re one of those blessed, mythical creatures with access to the Bank of Mam and Dad. And look, good for you if you have those advantages in life, seriously, make the most of it, but that is one hell of a cheat code.

It’s simply not the same game. The playing field isn’t remotely level, and yet we’re all out here comparing scores. Social media hasn’t exactly helped with this.

Our brains are marinating in highlight reels: Greek-island tans, aesthetically pleasing dinner parties, emotionally available partners who also know how to use a film camera. It’s not even the fakeness that gets to you anymore, we all know some of it is staged.

It’s the sheer exposure.

We’re constantly absorbing other people’s milestones like second-hand smoke.

And financially? Let’s not even begin.

It is objectively harder, factually and mathematically, to reach the same milestones our parents did at our age. Houses, stability, long-term security. Those markers were built for an economy that simply doesn’t exist anymore.

So no, you’re probably not behind.

You’re just living in a system that was never designed for you to feel caught up. Contentment doesn’t serve capitalism. The goalposts keep moving because that’s how the machine keeps running. It’s no wonder so many of us find ourselves daydreaming about something simpler. A cottage. Some land. A slightly slower life. Something vaguely Stars Hollow coded.

(WiFi included, obviously.)

The truth is, we’re human beings, not Sims characters.

You don’t owe the algorithm a life update. You don’t have to tick off every milestone like it’s a side quest. And if Maslow’s hierarchy of needs still holds any wisdom, it’s probably this: once the basics are covered, safety, food, security, the rest of the structure is yours to build.

So build your own timeline.

Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s PR campaign.

If the “behind” feeling gets loud, log off for a week. Make a moodboard instead of a crisis. Do something, anything, that reminds you your brain and heart are still in charge.

Because honestly, you’re not behind.

You’re just alive.

And that’s the only timeline that’s real.